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How to Create an
Emotional Bond with Your Child
by Anthony Kane, MD
One of the most powerful tools
that parents have for raising their children is the natural emotional
bond that exists between them and their child. Children who feel close
to their parents will have a strong desire to obey them. No child with
this type of connection to his parents will want to risk hurting that
connection by disobeying them. When such a relationship exists, the mere
look of dissatisfaction on the face of a parent will usually be enough
to curb inappropriate behavior. This bond is so strong and so potent
that it lasts even through adolescence when most of the disciplinary
tools at our disposal are ineffective. Often, it is the only tool we
have in guiding our teenage children. Parents who do not have such a
connection with their children have lost a vital resource necessary for
successful parenting.
In addition, this bond is
essential for the child's emotional stability. A recent psychology
experiment studied people in their forties, whose parent were
emotionally distant from them. These people were often depressed and
lacked a sense of emotional well being. They had more difficulty in
adjusting to the work environment and new social situations.
How do you develop this type of
loving bond with your child? It begins in your child's infancy and is
built by giving your child the love and affection that he needs.
Many well-meaning mothers are
completely unaware that their own children are suffering from the lack
of physical touch. There are many reasons for this. Most people
associate deprived children as those who are neglected, abused, or
chronically ill. However, the truth is that many of our children who
come from good homes are not getting the physical warmth and love that
they need. In our two-income society, unaffectionate caretakers, who
provide for the child's physical needs with as little warmth and contact
as possible, often raise children. Also, many of us did not receive
enough physical love and warmth as children. As a result, it is not
natural to us to cuddle, coo, kiss, and love our children
affectionately. In addition, some children naturally need more physical
warmth. These touch-deprived children fill our schools. They are the
ones who often look sad and depressed, suffering from not getting their
physical needs for contact.
The United States is one of the
richest countries in the history of the world. Yet, our children in
general are touch starved.
We are busy with our lives and our careers. We often raise our children
in broken homes. We as parents are suffering under the burden of so much
physical and emotional stress, that we are often just glad to make it
through the day without hitting or screaming at our children. Who has
time to give them affection? Yet, this is what our children crave most
from us. We fill our houses with toys and things for our children, but
it is us that they really need.
There is much talk about the
generation gap. We all know that adolescents naturally rebel. Sometimes
we look at our little children and wonder what is going to be in ten
years when this cute little four-year-old turns fourteen. Will he be one
of the children who abuses drugs? Is he going to steal? Is he going to
do worse? What is going to be?
You need to take the time now, and
give your child the physical warmth and love that your child needs. If
you build strong bonds of love with your child now, while he is still
young, then all these problems that you read about, will be just that;
things that you read about. You will not experience these problems in
your own home, because you have developed a strong relationship with you
child.
Anthony Kane, MD
ADD ADHD Advances
http://addadhdadvances.com
Anthony Kane, MD is a physician,
an international lecturer, and director of special education. He is the
author of a book, numerous articles, and a number of online programs
dealing with ADHD treatment
http://addadhdadvances.com/childyoulove.html, parenting issues
http://addadhdadvances.com/betterbehavior.html, ODD, and education.
You may visit his website at
http://addadhdadvances.com. To sign up for the free ADD ADHD
Advances online journal send an email to:
subscribe@addadhdadvances.com?subject=subsaahome |
