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14 Years Of
Marriage And Still Counting
by Alyice Edrich
I can't believe it. Who would have
thought we'd make it this far? My husband and I have been married for 14
years and we're still going strong!
To be honest, I never thought we'd
make it this far. While my husband's mom and dad are a great example of
what it means to make a commitment and make your marriage work (they'll
be celebrating 50 years in November!), my side of the family has a hard
time staying married to each other. In fact, I was so afraid we'd be
divorced before we hit our one-year anniversary that I kept my maiden
name hyphened with my married name for the first 6 months of my
marriage.
Today, I can honestly say that I
don't worry about divorce and haven't for many years. I think hitting
the five year anniversary mark and renewing our vows really helped me
put things into perspective.
Why has our marriage lasted 14
years? Only God truly knows the true answer, but I've come up with a few
good reasons:
1. We made a commitment to work
things out no matter how hard life got (and believe me it had some very
rocky and treacherous terrain).
2. We took out the word "obey" in
our wedding vows because we believed we were not each other's property.
3. We take the time to
apologize—even when we don't want to.
4. We lift each other up to
others.
5. We accept the fact that we both
have baggage that we've brought into this marriage and we've agreed to
work through that baggage together.
6. We've learned to listen to one
another—even when sometimes it's a boring thing to do.
7. We learned to joke about
ourselves and each other.
8. We don't intentionally go
around hurting each other.
9. We vent to close friends who
can keep our vents in confidence and not hold them against our spouse.
10. We've learned to let our guard
down with each other.
11. We trust each other and do
what we can to keep that trust.
12. We have faith that the Lord
brought us together.
13. We love each other and remind
each other of this, often.
14. We understand that marriage
takes work and commitment and are willing to do our part to make our
marriage work until death do us part.
In 14 years of marriage, I've
learned that marriages aren't fairy tales made up of bubbly, happy
go-lucky days and nights. They are roller coaster rides with lots of ups
and downs. But if you really want to keep that "new puppy-love" feeling
alive just toss in some one-on-one time, a little romance, and a lot of
forgiveness. Forgive each other for driving each other crazy, for the
little wrongs you've done to one another, and for anything else that
isn't a "big deal" in the larger scheme of things.
Alyice Edrich is the author of
several work-from-home e-books, including one that allows parents to
earn $50 in two hours, without joining an MLM, or home party business.
She is also the editor of The Dabbling Mum.com,
http://thedabblingmum.com – an online magazine for BUSY parents.
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